Sunday, July 22, 2012

God answers prayer.

I think for me, prayer has been the biggest challenge in my walk with God. Because I am the type of gal who likes to have an answer for everything, a list, a calendar...a clue. Well, if I could back up just a little I would like to admit that 100% of all my stress so far in 30 years has been simply because I didn't pray. Well, I did pray but not the right way.

I have spent so much of my time trying to make things happen it almost is exhausting to think about and I am glad, no overjoyed God stopped me in my tracks, knocked me upside the head and messed up my world big time in this area of my life.

Its simple prayers or big prayers, they always used to start with...

"please God, take this away from me..."

"God, I need this..."

You  know, those prayers. But something has changed in me. I feel like he has created a warrior. Someone I don't know. Someone who has been through many challenges, fallen many times and is tired. Tired of trying to do it all myself. I used to have the mentality that life was only good if circumstances around me were all good...the bank account full, no dental issues, no surgeries, no deployments...but the reality is, the world is full of evil. We are constantly being attacked. Things are going to happen and there is no stopping it. God never said circumstances would always be good. Our cars will break down, air conditioners will break, our kids will get boo boos. Gunmen will appear in a dark movie theatre and start shooting for no reason other than to spread evil. There is no telling what is ahead for any of us.But there is one thing for sure...

God answers our prayers.

I was just upstairs with Grace and we were praying (which we need to do more of). I asked her to sit on my lap and I just wrapped my arms around her and thanked God for her. For giving us 4 great years so far...and for everything he is doing in her. I asked her when we were done if she really knew who were praying to.

Yes mommy, we are praying for God.

I don't know how but kids always seem to carry this special wisdom with them. Praying for God, not to God is what she said. And that's the truth. Its amazing the burdens that get lifted off my shoulders when I start speaking that truth over my circumstances, my life. When I stop asking to be rescued but give thanks for it in advance. When I stop asking for restoration but claiming it, like it was always mine. Healing, because of the blood of Jesus.

I think my Grace has it right. Praying is not because God needs to know what we are going through. Praying is so he can comfort us through it. Its all for him. He already has the plans layed out, he knows the detours we need to take, he knows exactly whats going to happen next and he is ready and able to let us in on his amazing plans.

I so often forget that God already knows. And he is hurting right along with us. And I forget that he just wants to talk with us. Not to us. He wants to get into our lives so deep that its impossible to make a move without him. He just wants all of us.

My prayers have turned from a frantic mess to a wonderful moment in time where I feel nothing but peace. Because sometimes I am a frantic mess, but not as much as before.  My mind is quiet and my soul is tuned into his comfort. I am able to hear him clearer and receive all of him, instead of what I just want to hear. I feel confident that he is always there, working things for my good, in every area. I am confident now that even when things seem to be a mess, he is there. And I am looking for the lessons and the blessings in the challenges now. Not just asking to be rescued all the time. But that's a whole other post in itself...learning to be content in your trials.

I was watching a 48 hours special last night and one of the victims of the Colorado shooting was on from his hospital room. He talked about how he dropped down and started praying. He said he could feel the dark presence of the shooter and that when he started praying he was comforted. He felt peace amongst the bullets. He got shot a few times and was in alot of pain. But he made it out. And I know of a few others who have come out with their stories of that night. And they all prayed, and all felt Gods presence in that place. And that man, well he said, there was dark there but when you have the light inside you, it shines brighter than any darkness.

I am thankful beyond words tonight that he allows us to come to him. It just blows my mind sometimes that we are able to do that. Just go to him. Whenever we want. I find myself trying to find time with him more everyday just so I can experience his presence. His peace. I need that. I need help. I need answers. I need a road map. I need comfort. I cant imagine what it was like for those people, bullets whizzing by, chaos, chemicals...but all those who prayed found themselves in a peaceful moment amongst the storm. Its almost too much too explain but I get it now. I have been there.

In his presence.

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