Friday, December 16, 2011


There comes a time for everyone to need a savior. There comes a time where things are so out of control that the burden is too much to carry. For me, its my chronic skin disease.

I thought after suffering with it for 15 years that surgery would be the end all. I was way wrong. As I am typing this I am once again in a place of defeat. Discouraged.

I had surgery over 2 months ago and I am still in pain and my incision has opened up again.  I am alone and in pain and uncomfortable. I did not have any time to heal or take care of myself. I had to jump right back into mom mode and take care of my babies. My husband had to go back to work. There was nothing I could do.It has interfered with my relationship with my husband and my children.  And sometimes my relationship with God. I find myself being in a place of worship and praise when things go great, and when they don't, I get angry. I get angry when I come so close to healing and then it starts all over again.

I keep hearing "God would never give you more than you can handle". But that is not true. That's just not how it works. If we could handle everything for ourselves, we would not be in need of a savior. There is something so beautiful about needing God so bad that you put all your hope and trust in Him, and He moves. Pain does not come from God. Nor do financial problems or sickness. God is only good. However we live in a fallen world. It started with Adam and Eve. It was perfect until Adam fell into sin. We live in a place that was supposed to be perfect. But its not. And God sent His very own son to walk the earth and endure pain in every way so that we would know where to go...when we needed comfort.

Jesus is the ultimate healer. He is the ultimate comforter. There was once a woman who suffered and saw Jesus in a crowd. She said if she could only just touch Him, she would be healed. Jesus saw her and said by your faith you are healed! Your faith in me was so big that I saw you out of the crowd and I found YOU. I could feel your faith.

Sometimes I feel my faith is that big. And sometimes I don't. But I know that God is perfecting something great in me by allowing me to go through this. I know that this will only make my relationship with Him stronger. I know He is trying to show me something.

My favorite scripture has always been Romans 8:28-39

New International Version (NIV)

  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors
  What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I hope you are as blessed by this scripture as I am. If you are suffering, read it and read it again. Pray that God shows you His love and intercedes in your life. There is healing in love. There is healing in hope. And God is hope. And God is love.
and if you are still needing encouragement...
count your blessings.

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