Friday, February 17, 2012

The seasons in my life.

Who is this baby and when did she get so big?

Life is moving so fast right now. Growing babies, my husbands career, my new adventures in art and business...the list goes on.

My husband and I have been talking about the different seasons in our life lately...and I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying. Especially for military families, it seems as if there are years of "transition" and years of "stabilization". Some duty stations are full of deployments and field ops where my husband is gone for months and even years. And some he just works a typical 9-5. And then you have the ones which is like both. He is currently in college trying to finish a degree, also working full time. It is what I will just call a "home deployment" haha.

Some seasons of my life were very slow. But as I look back on them, it is where I learned the most. God would speak to me and I would write it down. I have drawers and files full of envelopes, magazine articles etc with scripture on it and notes. Scraps of paper inside my center console in my car with scribbles of thoughts God placed in my heart while I was at a stop light. I had no idea what God was speaking to me then, but it all makes sense now.

For me, the way my life has always worked, is a whole bunch of trials and craziness all taking place to prepare me for the next task He gives me. This is why I have become accustom to valuing my trials. They just mean so much now. Every event has led up to this point. I used to be OBSESSED with James. In fact my daughter Lucy (above), her middle name is James.If you dont know James and you are looking for some comfort in your trials, read about him. Lucy was born into this world with just her mama. My husband was at war and it was just me and her. I can remember the two of us sitting in our hospital room together for 2 days just in awe of what we had just gone through. I couldn't believe that I had just had a baby and was taking care of my 3 year old Grace at the same time. I couldn't believe the strength God forced me to draw from Him to be able to go to the grocery store with my new baby and toddler at 3 days in. It was the most exhilarating experience of my life and I am so grateful that I was shown the true power of our Lord in that moment of my life. I am so grateful He never let me fall.

It is the seasons of trials for me that I look back on and draw from when I am faced with lifes stuff these days. When I have moments of self doubt or insignificance or I just feel lost. I just go back to the times when I felt Jesus literally holding my hand, holding my heart. Protecting me, guiding me...showing me the way.

This morning I woke up feeling so grateful for my babies. So grateful for poopy diapers and all nighters. So grateful for the horrible stages of teething and discovering how to stand up and take steps. Some days I just cry so much joy for being gifted the task of motherhood. I don't know if I would be who I am today if I wasn't able to take care of these babies. If I wasn't given the amazing opportunity to be my husbands helper. As I take steps in a new direction this year, I hope to always treasure each moment of motherhood, good or challenging because this season will be over so quick. My little Lucy is already standing up and trying to walk. I just cant believe it. I never want to forget these moments. I never want to forget how some weeks we had 2 nights of frozen pizza (sorry Scott for last night) haha...I never want to forget how we had to coordinate park trips so that my husband could have the computer to go to school and study in quiet. How while I was sitting at the park at 6 o'clock at night so grateful I have a husband who desires to take on the challenges the Lord gives him, even if they all don't go smooth or make sense at the time. Even when he doesn't feel like it, he does it.

These are the things I am grateful for. All things, easy or challenging, that make up a life. Our life.  

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