tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48481487953645451282024-03-08T03:39:55.894-06:00Magnolia LaneMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.comBlogger111125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-13722483936376060142013-02-12T19:25:00.000-06:002013-02-12T19:25:43.703-06:00<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-70740073220160668932013-01-25T08:13:00.000-06:002013-01-25T08:26:46.849-06:00Genesis: the tree of life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-naME3sw1PWM/UQKRh-pSFyI/AAAAAAAAC_I/esxr-8YCKeA/s1600/DSC_0349.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-naME3sw1PWM/UQKRh-pSFyI/AAAAAAAAC_I/esxr-8YCKeA/s640/DSC_0349.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="text Gen-2-4" id="en-NIV-35"><em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Adam and Eve</span></em></span></h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-4"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup></span></span></em></span></h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-4"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></em></span> </h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-4"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></em></span> </h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-4"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is the account<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-35G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup> of the heavens and the earth when they were created,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-35H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup> when the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God made the earth and the heavens.</span></span></em></span><br />
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-5" id="en-NIV-36"><sup class="versenum"> </sup></span></span></span></em></h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-5"></span></span></span></em> </h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-5"></span></span></span></em> </h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-5">Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-36I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup> for the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God had not sent rain on the earth<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-36J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup> and there was no one to work the ground,</span> <span class="text Gen-2-6" id="en-NIV-37">but streams<sup> </sup>came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-7" id="en-NIV-38">Then the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God formed<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-38K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup> a man<sup> </sup>from the dust<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-38M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></sup> of the ground<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-38N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></sup> and breathed into his nostrils the breath<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-38O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup> of life,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-38P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup> and the man became a living being.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-7"></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-7"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-38Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em> </h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em></h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-8" id="en-NIV-39">Now the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-39R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup> and there he put the man he had formed.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-9" id="en-NIV-40">The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-40S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup> that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-40T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup> and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-9"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-40U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em></h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-10" id="en-NIV-41">A river<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-41V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup> watering the garden flowed from Eden;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-41W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)"></sup> from there it was separated into four headwaters.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-11" id="en-NIV-42"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-42X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)"></sup> where there is gold.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-12" id="en-NIV-43"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>(The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.)</span> <span class="text Gen-2-13" id="en-NIV-44">The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush.<sup> </sup></span><span class="text Gen-2-14" id="en-NIV-45">The name of the third river is the Tigris;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-45Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)"></sup> it runs along the east side of Ashur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-45AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-15" id="en-NIV-46"><sup class="versenum"> </sup></span></span></span></em></h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-15"></span></span></span></em> </h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-15"></span></span></span></em> </h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-15">The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-46AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></sup> to work it and take care of it.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-16" id="en-NIV-47">And the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-47AC" title="See cross-reference AC">AC</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Gen-2-17" id="en-NIV-48"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-48AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)"></sup> for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-48AE" title="See cross-reference AE">AE</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><span class="text Gen-2-18" id="en-NIV-49"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup></span></span></em></span></h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-18"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></em></span> </h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-18"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></em></span> </h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-18"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-49AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)"></sup></span></span></em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-19" id="en-NIV-50"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Now the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-50AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)"></sup> and all the birds in the sky.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-50AH" title="See cross-reference AH">AH</a>)"></sup> He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-50AI" title="See cross-reference AI">AI</a>)"></sup> each living creature,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-50AJ" title="See cross-reference AJ">AJ</a>)"></sup> that was its name.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-20" id="en-NIV-51"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.</span></span></span></em><br />
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-20">B</span></span></span></em><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-20">ut for Adam<sup> </sup>no suitable helper<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-51AK" title="See cross-reference AK">AK</a>)"></sup> was found.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-21" id="en-NIV-52">So the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-52AL" title="See cross-reference AL">AL</a>)"></sup> and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.</span> <span class="text Gen-2-22" id="en-NIV-53"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Then the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><span class="text Gen-2-23" id="en-NIV-54"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>The man said,</span></span></em></span><br />
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<div class="line">
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-2-23">“This is now bone of my bones</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-2-23">and flesh of my flesh;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-54AN" title="See cross-reference AN">AN</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-2-23">she shall be called<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-54AO" title="See cross-reference AO">AO</a>)"></sup> ‘woman,’</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-2-23">for she was taken out of man.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-54AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)"></sup>”</span></span></span></span></em></div>
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<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em></h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-24" id="en-NIV-55"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-55AQ" title="See cross-reference AQ">AQ</a>)"></sup> to his wife, and they become one flesh.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-55AR" title="See cross-reference AR">AR</a>)"></sup></span></span></em></span></h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em></h3>
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<span class="text Gen-2-25" id="en-NIV-56"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">Adam and his wife were both naked,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-56AS" title="See cross-reference AS">AS</a>)"></sup> and they felt no shame.</span></span></em></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-2-25"><em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"></span></em></span><br />
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<span class="text Gen-3-1" id="en-NIV-57"><em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"></span></em></span> </h3>
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<span class="text Gen-3-1"><em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">T</span></em></span><span class="text Gen-3-1"><em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">he Fall</span></em></span></h3>
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<h3 class="chapter-1">
<span class="text Gen-3-1"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="chapternum"> </span>Now the serpent<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-57A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> was more crafty than any of the wild animals the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-57B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>”</span></span></em></span></h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-2" id="en-NIV-58">The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-58C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Gen-3-3" id="en-NIV-59"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-59D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
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<h3>
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-4" id="en-NIV-60">“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-60E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Gen-3-5" id="en-NIV-61">“For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-61F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup> knowing good and evil.”</span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-6" id="en-NIV-62"><sup class="versenum"> </sup></span></span></span></em></h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-6"></span></span></span></em> </h3>
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<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-6">When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-62G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup> for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-62H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup> who was with her, and he ate it.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-62I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Gen-3-7" id="en-NIV-63">Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-63J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup> so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-63K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
</h3>
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</h3>
<h3>
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-8" id="en-NIV-64">Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God as he was walking<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-64L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></sup> in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-64M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></sup> from the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God among the trees of the garden.</span> <span class="text Gen-3-9" id="en-NIV-65">But the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God called to the man, “Where are you?”<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-65N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-10" id="en-NIV-66"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup></span></span></em></span></h3>
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<span class="text Gen-3-10"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></em></span> </h3>
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<span class="text Gen-3-10"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-66O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup> because I was naked;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-66P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup> so I hid.”</span></span></em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
</h3>
<h3>
<span class="text Gen-3-11" id="en-NIV-67"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">A</span></span></em></span><span class="text Gen-3-11"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">nd he said, “Who told you that you were naked?<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-67Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></sup> Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-67R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup>”</span></span></em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-12" id="en-NIV-68"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>The man said, “The woman you put here with me<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-68S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup>—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”</span></span></em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-13" id="en-NIV-69"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”</span></span></em></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-13"><em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;">The woman said, “The serpent deceived me,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-69T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup> and I ate.”</span></em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-14" id="en-NIV-70"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>So the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,</span></span></em></span><br />
</h3>
<h3 class="poetry top-05">
<div class="line">
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-14"></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-14"></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-14">“</span></span></span></em><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-14">Cursed<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-70U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></sup> are you above all livestock</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-14">and all wild animals!</span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-14">You will crawl on your belly</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-14">and you will eat dust<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-70V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-14">all the days of your life.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-15" id="en-NIV-71"><sup class="versenum">15 </sup>And I will put enmity</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-15">between you and the woman,</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-15">and between your offspring and hers;<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-71X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-15">he will crush your head,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-71Y" title="See cross-reference Y">Y</a>)"></sup></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-15">and you will strike his heel.”</span></span></span></span></em></div>
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<h3>
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
</h3>
<h3 class="top-05">
<span class="text Gen-3-16" id="en-NIV-72"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>To the woman he said,</span></span></em></span></h3>
<h3 class="poetry top-05">
<div class="line">
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-16">“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-16">with painful labor you will give birth to children.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-72Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-16">Your desire will be for your husband,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-16">and he will rule over you.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-72AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)"></sup>”</span></span></span></span></em></div>
</h3>
<h3>
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
</h3>
<h3 class="top-05">
<span class="text Gen-3-17" id="en-NIV-73"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;">to Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-73AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></sup></span></span></em></span></h3>
<h3 class="poetry top-05">
<div class="line">
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-17"></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-17"></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-17"></span></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-17">“Cursed<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-73AC" title="See cross-reference AC">AC</a>)"></sup> is the ground<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-73AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)"></sup> because of you;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-17">through painful toil<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-73AE" title="See cross-reference AE">AE</a>)"></sup> you will eat food from it</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-17">all the days of your life.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-73AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-18" id="en-NIV-74"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>It will produce thorns and thistles<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-74AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)"></sup> for you,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-18">and you will eat the plants of the field.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-74AH" title="See cross-reference AH">AH</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-19" id="en-NIV-75">By the sweat of your brow<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-75AI" title="See cross-reference AI">AI</a>)"></sup></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-19">you will eat your food<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-75AJ" title="See cross-reference AJ">AJ</a>)"></sup></span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-19">until you return to the ground,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-19">since from it you were taken;</span></span><br />
<span class="text Gen-3-19">for dust you are</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Gen-3-19">and to dust you will return.”<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-75AK" title="See cross-reference AK">AK</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></span></em></div>
</h3>
<h3>
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
</h3>
<h3 class="top-05">
<span class="text Gen-3-20" id="en-NIV-76"><em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Adam<sup> </sup>named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.</span></span></em></span></h3>
<h3>
<em><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span></em><br />
</h3>
<h3>
<em><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Gen-3-21" id="en-NIV-77">The <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-77AM" title="See cross-reference AM">AM</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Gen-3-22" id="en-NIV-78">And the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God said, “The man has now become like one of us,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-78AN" title="See cross-reference AN">AN</a>)"></sup> knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-78AO" title="See cross-reference AO">AO</a>)"></sup> and eat, and live forever.”</span> <span class="text Gen-3-23" id="en-NIV-79">So the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> God banished him from the Garden of Eden<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-79AP" title="See cross-reference AP">AP</a>)"></sup> to work the ground<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-79AQ" title="See cross-reference AQ">AQ</a>)"></sup> from which he had been taken.</span> <span class="text Gen-3-24" id="en-NIV-80"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side<sup> </sup>of the Garden of Eden<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-80AR" title="See cross-reference AR">AR</a>)"></sup> cherubim<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-80AS" title="See cross-reference AS">AS</a>)"></sup> and a flaming sword<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-80AT" title="See cross-reference AT">AT</a>)"></sup> flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-80AU" title="See cross-reference AU">AU</a>)"></sup></span></span></span></em></h3>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-56600613686751614082013-01-16T16:05:00.000-06:002013-01-16T16:19:55.115-06:00what we learn in swim class<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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swim class.<br />
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Every single week we go, every Wednesday, and I question why we do it. She has so much fun and enjoys the water so much but as it gets more intense, so do we. God led me there one day and told me to sign her up. It costs 80 bucks a month and that's a bill, but for some reason I cant stop it. I have come to the conclusion that its not the swimming we are both there for, its the lessons we learn. I have learned more about myself and the spirit of God in a few months at swimming class, than in any other thing or person or place in 30 years. And as an added bonus, Grace learns to swim. <br />
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Before we got into class I gave her a pep talk in the car. Grace, don't be so hard on yourself okay? Try to remember that you are here to enjoy yourself? And we pay the teacher to teach you, you are not supposed to know how to do everything. Please don't be so hard on yourself. okay? ok. Every single word that God has been saying to me these past few months. <br />
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Every week I watch as she does her usual routine there. They get in the water and do some fun things to kinda break them into the pool, create excitement. Then they get down to business and do whatever skill they are working on to and from the platform in the middle of the pool. And today was a reminder that my daughter is every single bit a part of me, and has all the amazing qualities that I posses and also the not so good ones. Shes me. <br />
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I watch her start out strong, confident. She gets to about the middle of the pool and looks back. And from the moment she questions herself, hesitates and loses her bearings she is flailing about in the middle of the pool, panicked and scared. No, terrified. She starts bobbing up and down and looking for something, anything that would save her. She gets back to the platform and she screams "I cant do it!!" which is followed by more tears...and frustration. And I believe this behavior is the physical manifestation of the greatest thing God is trying to break me from, and it is presented to me in physical form. Her teacher grabs her and holds her tight while she catches her breath, turns her over, tells her to relax and gently nudges her to resume the rest of the way, on her back. And all the while I hear God whispering to me...YOU cant do it either, my darling, <em>without me</em>. <br />
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I caught myself today just broken hearted watching my own flesh and blood, my own heart, suffer this horrible self worth, questioning everything she does and panicking with no way to save herself. I watch her as tears stream down her face and her shoulders get tense. I watch her from the glass, I want so badly to punch through it and grab her and shake her until she realizes how beautiful she is. I want to throw her back into the pool and tell her to try again, but never to stop. Don't stop Grace, don't stop in the middle and look back. Don't lose your sight. Don't hesitate. Don't be alone. Look for your teacher, shes right there and when you feel like you cant swim anymore, she will see you and save you. You don't even have to ask, that's her job.<br />
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I don't want her to trust in herself alone. I don't want her to trust in the pool. I don't want her to trust in her arms and legs. I want her to trust in God. I want her to put less emphasis in <em>self confidence</em> and more value on<em> God confidence</em>. And that's why we go. Every single Wednesday we get up and I anticipate her in situations where she loses it, and I treat each and every moment as an opportunity to point her to the Heavens. And sometimes we cry together...every time we talk about how great she is. I hold her tight and tell her shes going to make lots of mistakes and shes not going to know how to do everything...and that's ok. In fact, that's the way its supposed to be. If we had all the answers and all the knowledge the there would be no need for a God. He is everything. Hes everywhere. And hes never going to leave you. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.</em></span><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Proverbs 22 :6</span></em><br />
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and that is walking, no running, full speed ahead to our Lord. Our Savior. That's it. <br />
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I never want Grace to think her self confidence is what fills her up. I don't want her to believe she can do all the things that every other kid does. I want her to know that she was fearfully and wonderfully made by our creator who has given her special qualities to achieve his purpose. And she is supposed to enjoy it! I caught myself today finding glimpses of joy in the journey that he has me on and wondering why in the world I have not stopped to enjoy more, the place right where I am. <br />
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I wondered myself today why its so hard for me to enjoy my life if I don't know all the answers. You know those interim periods where God has you in a place of need or in a place of silence. The place where you look around and you have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow. And you finally raise up your hands to the Heavens and say, okay...I'm yours. I finally have no answers. <br />
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I surrender.<br />
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We are not supposed to know how to swim. That's why we have a teacher. That's why we have a God. To lead us, guide us, equip us, and redeem us in all things. I never want to instill in my girls that they are enough on their own. <br />
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They will fail. <br />
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They will fall. <br />
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They wont know how to do things. <br />
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I want thier hearts to hunger for God. I want them to turn to him<em> first.</em> I want them to live in grace. <br />
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Grace, my heart hurts for you. I watch you every day in all the things you do and I just pray. I pray that you would see that you aren't meant to be perfect and in your own time, in Gods time, all that he has for you will come to pass. You will be confident in riding your bike kiddo, not because you wake up one day with the ability, but because your daddy and I take you out whenever we get a chance and let you fall. And then we put you back on that bike and tell you to keep going. And every single moment we are walking right next to you. Our hands are helping to hold you up, and Gods hand will always be on you when we are long gone...And you will be confident that you are safe in Gods hands and be more brave and more sure of Him, and less sure of you. And that will mean that you will walk a bold life with no fear of the deep waters under you or the roaring storms above you. And if he never let you fail sometimes, you would never know the deep love he has for you and the redeeming power he has. <br />
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Keep swimming Grace. Dont stop. Dont look back. Thats where the past lies. Keep your eyes focused ahead and enjoy the ride. And when you feel tired or scared or helpless or hopeless, just ask God to wrap his arms around you...and show you the way. <br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-87012280185635183052013-01-11T07:14:00.001-06:002013-01-11T07:16:29.270-06:00when he was my religion, not my God.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I will never forget the day my husband walked into our apartment, crisp uniform and tight haircut, with a hand full of papers and a look on his face. I don't really remember the words he used or the tone in his voice but I will never forget the feeling that came over my body. The fear.<br />
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I am going to war.<br />
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I wish I could say that we were so young and naive and unseasoned, but that wouldn't be true. I had already experienced alot of pain in my life up until this point, a lot of trial. This was one I never knew I needed so bad. <br />
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The back story on us is that we didn't meet on a blind date or at a youth meeting or we aren't high school sweethearts...we met at the worst time of both of our lives. We were both broken, we were both lost. Immediately we clung to each other in hopes that each other would save us from all the pain and heartache. I clung to my husband from day one and held a grip so tight, it was all wrong from the start. <br />
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Despite all the sin and pain and torture that both of our souls were going through, we both knew from one special particular moment that this was meant to be and we would stick it out. We were not spirit filled, we were desperate. Each of us desperate for a different life, and found that in each other. <br />
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So when my husband told me for the first time that he was going to war, I felt a wave of panic and fear that I couldn't even put into words. The first things that came to mind were,<br />
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Hes going to die.<br />
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How am I going to live without him?<br />
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Why is this happening?<br />
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Hes going to die.<br />
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Looking back on the last decade of my life, I can now see that satan had a big tight grip over my spirit and used everything he could to torture my already tortured soul into believing that God had chosen me to suffer and this was my destiny. I felt I served a God who didn't even know I existed and had made me different, chosen me to go into the wilderness alone, and suffer, and die. <br />
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I began to have panic attacks that would literally grip my body and cause it to shut down. I would go into the bath tub and cry for an hour, my face so tight and full of emotion, I would sob tears of fear and it felt like they were coming from the deepest part of my soul. The fear and panic and paranoia were so deep in me that, its what I lived and breathed for most moments of all three of his deployments. <br />
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Each time I had to leave the bus, the first time with no children, watching him pull away with the thought, surely that was the last time I would see him. I have been really asking God to do some real deep digging inside of me and open my eyes to what is the real root cause of all of my fear in life, and he has told me its because I make him my religion, but not my God.<br />
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My husband was my God. <br />
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Food was my God. <br />
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Alcohol was my God.<br />
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Cigarettes were my God.<br />
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The gym was my God.<br />
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The attractive man who payed attention to me at the bar was my God.<br />
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My friends were my God.<br />
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I was a slave to my surroundings and had lived a life at such a young age of needing so much rescue and feeling so alone and broken, that I got used to the feeling of physical rescue. I had gotten used to the immediacy of a drink and a cigarette and a good song or the great feeling of a workout or a carton of ben and jerrys or a glance and a wink that came my way...<br />
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I spent our first deployment in so much fear that I quit my job so I could stay at home and receive my husbands phone calls. He would always call at 530 am my time and that's when I opened the gym I worked at. I quit because I couldn't handle the panic of the phone ringing and me not being able to answer it. I quit because I was depressed and afraid. <br />
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After a long deployment of much fear and panic and much sin, my husband came home. And we would do it two more times, my husband has been gone more than 30 months in our time in the military so far due to deployments and training...and God has used each moment to show me how to lean on him only. I have had my husband and the comfort of my routine ripped out of my tight grip so many times, that now I know in my heart it was only for my good. <br />
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I remember his third deployment being so afraid again that it was his time to die that I came home from watching the buses leave and called a dear friend who had no words to say. She knew that I needed much more than a simple, its gonna be okay honey. She knew that this deep rooted fear was only something that Jesus could confront. She called a pastor friend and a prayer chain was on my phone, my door was shut I was on my knees and before I knew it God had begun his good work of breaking my chains. The holy spirit filled the room like I have never felt before. Gods love was being unleashed on me like I thought I never deserved or would ever experience. This is when he begun to show me that He alone, was my God. <br />
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The first 5 years of our marriage, my husband was my God. I intrusted my whole life to him. I leaned on him and expected him to be my all, my everything. My mood was based on his mood and the state of my soul was dependent on the state of his. My identity was in him, and that is why I had so much fear. <br />
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I pray often for God to open my hands up and release the tight grip that I have over my husband and my children, and for me for that matter. And just the other day while I was walking up the stairs, he whispered to me, <em>your so afraid because you think this is your life, that you control it. So whatever you do, is what determines the outcome...</em><br />
<em></em><br />
Thank God I am not in charge here. And thank God that every time my husband leaves for war or for the gas station, I can trust God to prepare me, equip me, deliver me, save me and heal me from whatever the outcome is. I have learned that it is better to focus on this moment and thanking him for each. I have learned that the paranoid thoughts and feelings that beat up my mind and body so bad are not from him and he is hurting right along side of me. But the most important thing i have learned is that he loves me. And that love is more comforting than any other earthly love that I have sought after. <br />
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If you are a military wife reading this and you are experiencing great fear right now, I say run to your nearest church, run to the bible and his comforting presence. Have someone pray over you, many people pray over you and let God remove the overwhelming sense of panic and fear. Sit and read his word, his promises to you and write them out and put them all over your house and write them on your heart. Ask God to use this fear to reveal a deep new found peace and love, in him. <br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. <strong>Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.</strong></span></em><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Philippians 4:8</em></span>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-12543057365335590432013-01-09T07:22:00.000-06:002013-01-09T09:15:19.145-06:00Genesis 1 : Creation, a collection for my girls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3UW9l2Iun28/UO1p_vYACzI/AAAAAAAAC04/g8pYFUY5vNQ/s1600/playroom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="427" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3UW9l2Iun28/UO1p_vYACzI/AAAAAAAAC04/g8pYFUY5vNQ/s640/playroom.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
Ever since I was a little girl I have been drawn to creation...I had a rainbow hanging over my crib and that is one of my very first memories. And ever since Lucy has been drawn to the moon, it has been a pull on my heart to make them some art. And I just knew I had to incorporate a rainbow, Somewhere Over the Rainbow is also a very special song to me. <br />
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Lucy, you have your moon...<br />
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Grace, you are my sunshine...<br />
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And the rainbow, its all of ours...<br />
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Lucy has been talking more these days and its so funny because she says "moooon" all the time, she sits by the window, begging us to take her outside to see it. And she has now begun to say rainbow, and I never want to forget that sweet little voice..."maimbow". <br />
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Every single time we ask Lucy to say a word, Grace yells in the background, "mommy! she cant! she can only say moon and rainbow!!" <br />
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It was a cold and rainy day yesterday and I just knew it was the right time to make them this collection. We made a run to the "art store" to grab some chalk and we came home and finished what I had started in my heart since Grace was born. Each piece has very special meaning and its my hope that it sticks around and will hang somewhere my grand babies will enjoy it someday...<br />
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This morning I awoke anxiously waiting to hear from God in my morning bible time that I am absolutely enjoying, and my reading was in Genesis, about rainbows. Tears and joy in those quiet moments together just thanking him that he is part of this art. That he really is the one putting it into my soul to create...I really feel like he is walking right beside me.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-74195594666794560882012-12-31T15:19:00.001-06:002012-12-31T19:43:55.271-06:00Our financial mess and our way out...I don't think that its far from common knowledge that financial blessing is directly tied to how much we give. And there are many things I don't understand in this world such as why some of the most selfish people in this world are so wealthy, but what I do know is that this financial crisis our family has been in has turned out to be a bigger blessing that I ever could have imagined. If I could start and end this blog post right now saying one thing, it would be that whatever you are going through whether it be depression or addiction or maybe even cancer, its all for our good. Well, God uses it for our good. He takes the very sickness and sadness and horror tied to such a broken and sinful world and uses it to make the most beautiful of things. The one thing I have learned is that its never about cancer, its never about debt, its never about addiction, its all about God wanting a relationship with us so bad that sometimes he must allow us into the wilderness, alone, so that we may call on him. And when we call on him, he will always answer and lead us out, and greet us with a warm blanket, and some hope. <br />
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It is my prayer, right now this very second that you hear my testimony and receive the good news of Gods love for you, just as he has shown us. Its my prayer that you may finally realize that whatever challenge you have going on in your life, God is hurting for you and he's the way out. Hes the ticket. The beginning and the end...<br />
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<strong>The back story.</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
I don't have a giving issue, I have a trust issue. When you grow up in an environment full of divorce and custody issues and court systems and separate houses and anger and resentment, its hard to really feel trust, incarnate. I'm sure you can relate for whatever reason. If you trusted your job to financially provide and you lost that job, then you lost your trust.If you put all your trust in the gospel of money or in a job or in believing that your spouse is without sin and will never betray you..and he or she does,then you have lost that trust. Its easy to fill our lives up with trust in money or even ourselves for that matter. But as a child, if you are born into a world of not being able to trust, that's pretty much how you learn to do things. I have never recovered that trust and it led to a life of not really trusting in God either. <br />
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<strong>The part where we have run out of money</strong><br />
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We bought a house without asking God first. We used to be very reckless and selfish with our money but most of all we just didn't even ask God into the equation. He just wasn't a priority for us. My husband has a steady income, smaller than usual since he entered into the military at an older age. And you have kids and they get bigger and everything just gets bigger. And we have struggled to keep up. So we moved to Texas and God told me to start painting. He just knew my heart and that I couldn't bear it to go out into the world to get a job where I would have to leave my kids at daycare all day or not be a full time stay at home mom. The other truth is at this point, with no family around, it would cost more in daycare than I would actually make. So I started painting...in my kitchen. <br />
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<strong>The part where I have no money to put in that business.</strong><br />
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We used part of last years tax return to start me up. The supplies cost ALOT of money. There was a lot of risk but I just knew it was what I was supposed to do. I believed God when he told me to do it. I trusted him. There have been many moments when I have felt scared and anxious when buying supplies but I just prayed and asked for peace. If it was what he wanted, he would give me peace. And I have made mistakes. I have jumped the gun. But this has been trial and error and he has been there the whole time, faithfully forgiving me every time I fail. <br />
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<strong>When I learn to accept help.</strong><br />
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I have learned that its ok to accept help. I could not have done this without my family. At every chance she could, my mom would send Michaels gift cards and potential clients and my dad has been very generous financially in this whole process. I realize that not everyone has supportive family or friends who can help when times are tough, or are even capable of helping financially. But an important part of this story is that I could not have done this alone. Each person is capable of giving something of themselves. And if you cant give to a friend or a son or daughter financially, you can give in other ways. Even words of encouragement is a gift. And just as my heart aches to help those in need, I am also now able to accept help myself when I need it. <br />
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<strong>We start seeing some sales</strong><br />
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I started to sell things. I couldn't believe it. I still cant. But what would happen is I would be praying on the floor of Graces swim class, in tears because I didn't know how to pay for her classes and i didn't have the heart to stop them...and then I would check my phone and I would have sold a painting. Or I would be in the grocery store buying groceries and i would feel so guilty for buying healthy food because of my food allergies, i would just cry. i would be so anxious and nervous, but then I would sell something. He provided. He kept me going forward. He kept telling me that it was okay to be as happy as I was. I was so happy doing what i really loved, I felt guilty. How could i be able to paint in my own home doing what I really love and its all okay? How could it be true that this life I am living is real? He kept encouraging me, and putting people in my path to take me to the next level . He kept working for me when i could hear crickets...he kept loving me...<br />
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<strong>I start to have the desire to give</strong><br />
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Well I shouldn't say "start" because I have always been a giving person, but what happened was I was feeling it really strong. God was changing me. I was getting so close to him and I kept asking him to break my heart for him, for those he wanted me to touch. I kept crying out, use me! I'm here! Use my story! And then came all the times where I had to chose to trust him or not. I would be at the grocery store and I would be in line and have an opportunity to give a few bucks to the soup kitchen and i couldn't even hardly afford the $150 bucks in groceries I just bought...but I prayed to him right there in line...make it ok. Make it okay God for me to give this to you and help me to understand that you will see me and feel my heart. Make it ok....I would give and then almost instantly i would see a sale. When I say instantly, i mean on the way out of the parking lot. I would just sit and cry in that parking lot thanking God not for the sale, but that he <em>heard</em> me. He really heard me. And I was starting to trust him. <br />
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<strong>The parable of the widow</strong> <br />
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Things started getting really intense. I started to pray that God would make me like the widow who gave everything she had. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24715B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. <span class="text Mark-12-42" id="en-NIV-24716">But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.</span> </em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><span class="text Mark-12-43" id="en-NIV-24717"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, <span class="woj">“Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others.</span></span> <span class="text Mark-12-44" id="en-NIV-24718"><span class="woj">They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”</span></span></em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span></em></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">I prayed to be like her. You see, its easy to give when you have alot. But when you have a burning desire to give to people in need because you feel so abundantly blessed but the blessing isn't measured in dollars, its hard. And if you understand that sentence, I'm glad your here. The amount of joy I was feeling was my blessing. I loved being able to stay home with my girls and still be a full time mom but I was also feeling blessed by making the art. The fact that people were enjoying my art and actually spending their hard earned money on it still blows my mind. Its a blessing. But God was also providing for our needs. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>the part where we look at our own sin</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">God was convicting us. He was showing us where we weren't exactly honoring him with our money. Somewhere along this story my husband quit drinking beer. He used to drink about 12 beers or so on the weekends and one day he just stopped. I don't know why or how or when but I noticed it. And he also quit tobacco. We both used to smoke but quit the day we found out we were pregnant with our first daughter Grace, almost 5 years ago. But my husband would chew tobacco and one day this year, he quit. I believe he did that for lent, and it stuck. And God kept revealing to me how my food addiction was wasting his precious financial blessing. Not only was it causing me to be unhealthy but lets face it, all these addictions cost money. And where were we putting ours? I also recently quit drinking diet soda. One day the Lord said enough, and I took back a case that I bought to the store and the girl asked me why I was returning it. I said I quit. It was a blessed moment. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>The part where I have the biggest revelation ever</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">Just this morning I was sitting here thinking about all of the things we quit...and how much money we save by not letting these things take hold of us. And I just kept thinking about how God has always provided for us even when we were horrible sinful addicted messes. Nights turned into mornings with huge bar tabs and hundreds of dollars gone to cigarettes. He still loved us. He still loved me. He saw what a horrible sad mess I was and loved me through it. And that will be the biggest revelation I will ever have. He loved me through it....nothing I could ever do will make him love me less. But let me tell you friends, asking God to get you out of the mess and sadness of addiction is the best thing I have ever done. Praise the Lord. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>We start to tithe.</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">I have always had the desire to tithe but we have never had a church home until now and frankly it was not an issue for my husband. And you cant make someone tithe. Believe me, God doesn't want us to give unless its done cheerfully and joyfully. I get that now. My hands were so tight around our money before because I always felt that what I had was all I would ever have. But then the word started speaking to me. Its not my money. Its his. And he can take it away in a flash, and he has. You cant make someone share their wealth unless his heart is in the right spot. Unless we finally realize that every single gift and blessing is from above.My husband started to feel convicted every time that basket went around and he approached me with that. We decided to start and we would start where we were comfortable. We read up on tithing and decided that what was more important to G</span></span><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">od was our hearts and not the number. I asked my husband to come up with a number and he did. And we have been faithfully putting a check into that basket every week, with peace. No wringing feeling in the gut and no anxiousness, remember we are asking God to show us that we can trust him to provide, and he is. Its like all the feelings of hesitation are going away...But I will revisit that "where we are comfortable" place. I still want to fully run toward where God wants to meet me and show me beyond my wildest imagination, what He is capable of. And I am sure I wont be comfortable in the process...</span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>The scripture that rocks my world.</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Bring the whole tithe<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23131A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> into the storehouse,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23131B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23131C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup> of heaven and pour out<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23131D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup> so much blessing<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23131E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup> that there will not be room enough to store it. </span></em></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Malachi 3 :10</span></em></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong><em><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>The part where my husband crashes his car. </strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">My husband called me one morning a few weeks ago, very shortly after he had left the house for work. I answered it because he never calls that early. "I got into an accident, can you give me the number to our agent." It was his fault, we filed a claim, nobody was hurt, and we now have a 250 dollar deductible and its Christmas time. And we don't have 250 dollars. And we need our car back. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong><em><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>I start to ask God to let me give.</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong><span class="note"></span> </strong></span></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.</em></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><em>Matthew 6: 1-4</em></span></strong><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">This is the part of blogging that I hate. What I am about to tell you. Because I am not a hey, look at me kinda girl. I hate to draw attention to myself and I am starting to see the fruit in honoring this scripture above. But this part is the important part of the story and so I will tell it. I pray that you receive this knowing that my heart is in the right place and God is allowing me to tell you. I used to be a selfish mess. I still am. There are times I have meltdowns in the Target parking lot quietly, to myself of course, because I feel entitled to a new jacket or throw pillow...thats for real. I have spent many years living in entitlement and thinking I deserved things. But my heart has started to change ever since I started to know Jesus. My heart started to literally break looking at my abundance and seeing all the lack in the world. Goodness, my heart for those kids and their mamas...the ones who have no food or no shoes or no water...no hope. I have been praying to see the world through Gods eyes but I still have my selfish moments. I still want target throw pillows but its not as strong. Hes taking that ick away...and replacing it with this overabundance of joy I feel when i get to make less of me and more of Him...with that being said..</span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">My husband and I gave this year. We did it on purpose. We made a choice. Less of us, more of him.Our church gave baskets away to fill with Thanksgiving dinner for family's in need and we were asked as a congregation to take one if we could and fill it and bring it back. We couldn't afford thanksgiving dinner ourselves but took one anyway. We filled it. We brought it back and it brought us joy. And then out of nowhere, my 86 year old grandma sent us a check for fifty bucks with a simple note on the check "blessing". </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">We chose a name to buy Christmas gifts for a child in need. We couldn't afford it. But we just knew that it would be ok. And we knew that our own children were generously blessed by our family and would get gifts. This year I carefully took the time to pick out things this girl wanted and even went over the limit. And every time, God said it was ok. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"> I gave alot away this Christmas. I asked God to let me bless people. I shipped a lot of art, about a thousand bucks worth out to very unsuspecting people. I just took some art, packaged it up and shipped it off to peoples door steps. And I also took the time and consideration to make Christmas gifts for people that would truly bless them and bring them joy. I stayed up very late and woke up very early and spent alot of money we don't have on shipping costs. Remember we are trusting God and since i read that scripture in Malachi, I started to pray it over my life. God you said to test you...I'm testing you. The only time ever in the bible where God says test me, is with giving. And I also had to make a choice, pay our deductible or give my annual donation to mission feeding of 100 bucks. I asked my husband to be in prayer about it and he woke up one day and said <em>do it</em>. We promised God we would and that's, that. He will honor <em>that</em>.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>joy</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">This Christmas was the best one ever. I have never felt so much joy. It was magical.The blessing it was to me to anxiously await people getting their art and covering their walls with love made from my own two hands was amazing to say the least. I still cant get over it. Thinking of the girl we bought for, who we don't even know, watching my own girls open their gifts made me feel so full thinking of her... I am still so filled up.And even thought we still have to pay that 250 deductible...I am still trusting God to provide. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>And he did.</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">My husband got $50 from his family in one of his cards and we chose to set that aside to help with the cost of the deductible. And staying in faith and thanking God in advance for his provision...kept our spirits alive and put smiles on our faces even in the midst of all the financial crisis and the unknown. We chose to be different and instead of worry about where we would get it, we gave faithfully, honored what God had put on our hearts. We gave what he prompted us to and didn't question it. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">This morning I woke up to a $200 sale and a few days ago a $40 sale and a phone call from the shop saying that the car would be ready this week. Perfect timing. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>the part where I ugly cry over the Internet</strong> </span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj">sometimes Gods love for me, and you, is too much for me. Sometimes I just sit and cry. I cry everywhere about everything. Its like nothing looks the same. Nothing smells the same. I cant put it into words how safe i feel in his arms. A trust that I have never felt. This is the part where I could give you a bunch of scripture about trusting God but you already know it. You already know that he says not to worry about what you will eat or drink. You already know that he says to trust in him, lean not on your own understanding...you know. But you will never feel this overwhelming sense of love and security if you aren't asking him for it. If you aren't personally asking him into your heart, into your home, into your marriage, into your finances...He needs to be the gospel we trust in. He needs to be the answer. The only answer. Its not your job, its not my art, its not the economy and its not the vitamins we take. Its him. And i am thankful that I am learning to let go of the trust I have in our bank account or in my medical report or in the economy. He has walked us into the wilderness, and let us stay there. He has let things happen to us there that we could never have control over.Bills, debt, illness you name it. He has let animals come sniffing us with growling jowls and big appetites...and he left us there so he could finally break us into believing that we could save ourselves..if my husband just worked harder or I worked harder. Or if we could just...</span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><em>There is nothing I can do. If there was something I could do I wouldn't need him. </em></span></span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong>the homeless man on the side of the road.</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><strong></strong></span></span><br />
yesterday I was driving with my two girls to the grocery store and had five bucks in my wallet. we drove into the lot and there stood a homeless man with a sign. He was different. My heart broke, just as it usually does. I asked God if it was okay, and i gave him the five bucks.He took it and said God bless you. I lost it. I really lost it. Then I asked God if I could go to the atm and get him more. And we did. Grace agreed and we took out another 20. We drove back and gave it to him, I asked if he was okay and if he needed anything and he said no. He was rough. Missing teeth, scraggly hair and a smile. He was in and out of sleep and I kept seeing my handsome husband in him...I kept seeing him as a young man. We went shopping and came out and I drove by again and he had left. The whole way home I kept thinking how sometimes I believe God himself comes down in form to show us, to lead us. It felt like it was Jesus sitting there holding that sign, waiting for his people to stop and give, stop and pray. Waiting...<br />
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<strong>I'm done waiting.</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
I'm done waiting until I have enough money to give. I'm done praying for my needs to be met when there are others out there who need more. I am done believing that this life is about me. I am frustrated living in so much abundance when there are others suffering so bad. Help me father to trust in your word. Make it real. Use me. Show me how I can use what you give me to make much of your son who died for my very shortcomings. Bless me father, so I can bless...<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-24718C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup></span></span></em></span><br />
<sup><span style="font-size: large;">The way that God has chosen to rescue us from our financial mess is day by day...It did not come in the form of one big break. It wasn't winning the lottery. Nothing has really changed in our bank account. What he is doing is showing us, step by step, day by day how we can trust him. Its a beautiful exchange. Its me laying down a little of me, and him showing me alot of him. Its a huge challenge being thrown in our world and him rescuing us. Its not luck. Its not even us working harder. Its all him. </span></sup><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup></sup></span></span></em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup>He loves you. </sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup>Hes got the answers. . </sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup>He wants to show you. .</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup>He wants to bless you and love on you like nobody here on earth has ever...</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup>He hurts when you hurt.</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup>He collects your tears and will use them later as part of the story of your redemption.</sup></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup>Your sin is not catching him off guard, you are not a surprise.</sup></span></span></span><br />
<sup><span style="font-size: large;">Your not to broken to ask him for love and help.</span></sup><br />
<sup><span style="font-size: large;">He will never leave you.</span></sup><br />
<sup><span style="font-size: large;">He is waiting for you...</span></sup><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup></sup></span></span></em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><sup></sup></span></span></span><strong>some scripture to pray while your in a financial mess...</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<!--/topics/prov.19.17--><span class="note"><strong> </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the <span class="sc">Lord</span>, and he will repay him for his deed. </em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Proverbs 19:17</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em></em></span><span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. </em></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Proverbs 11:25</em></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: large;"><em></em></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><!--/topics/matt.6.33--><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Trust in the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span><sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16461A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> with all your heart <span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-3-5">and lean not on your own understanding;</span></span><span class="text Prov-3-6" id="en-NIV-16462">in all your ways submit to him,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-3-6">and he will make your paths<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16462B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> straight</span></span></em></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-3-6"><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Proverbs 3:5-6</em></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-3-6"><em><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em></span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="text Mark-12-44"><span class="woj"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Prov-3-6"><strong></strong></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><em> </em></span></span></span><br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-88067614405026771392012-12-28T08:58:00.000-06:002012-12-28T09:33:19.563-06:00redemption<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A few months ago I found myself up at the altar at church, laying down a heavy load that had been sitting on my heart for a while. Weighing down my shoulders, making it hard to walk with him. I found myself crying out literally, on the floor, hands cupped over my face...tears pouring down my face. A few people came up to me after, people I didn't know, and said that the Lord was speaking to them about me. They were praying for me while I was up there. But one guy in particular, handed me a piece of crumpled up paper and told me that God had a message for me...<br />
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<strong>Psalm 56:8 God saves all of our tears in a jar...</strong><br />
<strong>Lam 2 :19 pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord...</strong><br />
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I haven't been the same since.<br />
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Last night I read a post by <a href="http://www.thewiegands.com/2012/12/my-word-hope.html"><span style="color: #999999;">casey</span></a>, and her word. She chooses a word every year. And the past few days God has been speaking a word to me but I caught myself questioning if it was from him. But after reading her post I just know that he is giving me my word. <br />
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Redemption.<br />
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You see, just because I share alot of my life here, there are huge pieces left out. Huge pieces that only the Lord knows. And you wouldn't understand my word unless you knew...but to know that God has saved up all my tears in a bottle and is ready use them, is beyond anything my brain can handle. But my heart is screaming YES! I'm ready! Use it father, redemption. <br />
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2012 has been a year of a whole bunch of new starts. God has given me things I never knew were even possible, my art for one. Who knew that a girl like me, never went to college, never taken an art class (except in school) would be an artist? And who knew that my 4th grade art teacher who said I would be...who knew that her words would hold so much power to me today. <br />
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Its quite possible that God is using art to give me power. The power to love people and give people hope and encouragement. And its possible that He has given me a clear understanding of forgiveness, not just what the word means, but how to live it. When you are walking out of years of being cold and lonely and lost in the wilderness and you finally you see the light of a day and a warm blanket and you are greeted with hope,that's redemption. <br />
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the dictionary says the word means:<em> deliverance, rescue</em><br />
<em></em><br />
but to me, it means that he is using every single hurt, every single tear, every single moment of what shouldn't have happened and giving me beauty for those ashes. Every single addiction, every single moment of being so scared as a child, every moment. Its all for something. He wants to use it. Hes got a plan. <br />
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When your in the midst of hurt or depression or a tragedy it all seems to make no sense and you question God. How could a loving God allow so much pain and hurt. And I have been there. But when you step out of your own brain and you really feel Gods love, you start to understand. Its all a beautiful story, weaved together for his glory. Every single second of it, he wrote. Every single second of it, he was there. <br />
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And there will come a time, when your bottle is full, he will hand it to you and say, Im ready. <br />
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I am saved, I am rescued, I am redeemed. <br />
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Thank you Jesus.<br />
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<em>Ecclesiastes 3:11<br />He hath made every thing beautiful in his time.</em>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-57702402472831802812012-12-26T21:54:00.000-06:002012-12-26T22:02:24.264-06:00A magical Christmas...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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I can hardly find the words to describe this Christmas. I guess that's why I take so many photos... </div>
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magical.</div>
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healing.</div>
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challenging.</div>
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precious.</div>
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life giving.</div>
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redeeming.</div>
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joyful.</div>
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nostalgic.</div>
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sad.</div>
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calm.</div>
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all of these things.</div>
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My dad came into town, and we put him back on the plane today and I miss him. </div>
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Things I will never forget...</div>
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egg 'n a hole.</div>
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watching my dad interact with my daughter like he did with me...</div>
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the prayer you said at dinner, Grace.</div>
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"Dear God, thank you for Christmas...thank you for Jesus, and happy birthday Jesus. Thank you for everything, Amen."</div>
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If those weren't all the words my darling, they were the ones I remembered and you had me in tears. You still do, I'm still thinking about it. </div>
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Renting a car for just a ride to the Riverwalk. </div>
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Our sparkling delicious gorgeous dinner Christmas Eve...</div>
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The way my husband woke me up to a Merry Christmas, like a kid.</div>
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Falling asleep with you, Grace, while reading the story of the birth of Jesus. Watching your eyes wide and your heart open and your spirit in awe...listening about Mary giving birth in the stable...I will never forget the way you just slowly melted into me, tucked into your new sleeping bag and off to sleep you went. Peaceful, just as I pray you do every night of your precious life.</div>
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This Christmas was the best yet. My art has shown up on random doorsteps with a Merry Christmas and a pass it on...and my heart is warmed by all the joy and love around me. </div>
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I never want to forget it. </div>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-22047182311757476212012-12-21T09:36:00.002-06:002012-12-21T10:06:12.066-06:00an update on mothering,and picking the acorns.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A while ago, I wrote about <a href="http://ourmagnolialane.blogspot.com/2012/02/revelation-about-motherhood.html"><span style="color: #999999;"><em>a revelation I had about motherhood.</em></span></a> I cringe at my own tortured voice. Truth be told, I really don't write as the holy spirit prompts because I hate my own voice. I hate the torture and guilt and worthlessness in my own voice. But in my own struggle with measuring up in this world, I have found beauty in that voice. The one I hate to revisit. </div>
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<em>Let it be a testimony to the goodness and faithfullness of God.</em></div>
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Lately God has been speaking to me, showing me about my own style of mothering. My husband and I decided before we ever knew we wanted children that I would stay at home with them. I just knew in my own heart that I wanted their childhood to look nothing like mine. And the part that has been torturing me so, is the part where I feel my time is more quantity than valuable. Sometimes I just feel like I am here, but what am I doing? Am I making the most of every moment? Am I doing what I am supposed to do? Am I ?? Am I? Am I????</div>
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Oh goodness, I think that inner voice just kills. It just destroys my day. Comparing myself to you and your day, comparing my strengths to you and yours...its all life killing stealing and I succumb to it all to often. </div>
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I don't always enjoy playing with my girls. I will say it. And I have said it before. Its not that I dont enjoy them, its that I feel like there is something else to be done. I sometimes I am selfish, I would rather be sipping a cup of coffee, turning up the worship music and painting. Or sometimes I would rather be writing. Or sometimes I would rather be cleaning my house. But I have been taking the time to, on purpose, just spend a whole chunk of my day doing whatever they want. Lately, we have been making lunch and enjoying it on the driveway and picking acorns and playing with chalk. And in these precious moments God just whispers a smile and an "its okay". And somedays we leave the house to go to the park for hours and I dont check the phone or go over the mental "list". And I have found so much freedom in that. He just keeps telling me, its ok!</div>
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I guess somewhere there is a fear that I am missing out on something or something should be going on or I should be doing something, but he just reminds me, that hes working for me. Behind the scenes. Behind those moments. The moments when I chose to just enjoy my girls and its all okay...because he says so. There is value in being right where he puts me. Whether that looks like a day full of checks off the list or just being with my girls doing what they want to do. </div>
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I have found peace in mothering because he has given it to me. Handed it to me, in a beautiful package that looks nothing like yours. My day, looks nothing like yours. But I am here. I don't always put their desires first but I am here. Sometimes I get an order and I have to start and finish it very quick, but I have learned to let my girls be a part of our business here at home. And they love it. If I need to paint, they paint. And that makes me happy and them happy. If we are running late because I am calming her down from a nightmare, I am praising God that he lets me do that. He allows me to be here. And he knows my heart, that I couldnt possibly handle it if I werent here. I dont want to be anywhere else. The other day, Grace had an incident at school where she got sick and had to come home. I was pretty much in tears the whole way there just thanking God that he has allowed me to stay home with them and be there for these moments. The moments when I can drop everything and just be there, for them. This is why we sacrifice. This is why I make the choice. I want to be here. I want to be available.</div>
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So I am still working on letting myself enjoy this. I still am a task kinda gal, the one who likes to get things done and fill my day with chores and to dos...but I am working on just letting go a little and spending moments with them that I wont ever get back. And I realize that now. And if in the past, I have spoken about how I don't really connect with Grace, or if I am trying to defend<span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span><a href="http://ourmagnolialane.blogspot.com/2012/09/why-i-stay-home-with-my-children.html"><span style="color: #999999;"><em>why I stay at home with my children</em></span></a>, or if I am lying to myself about what the <a href="http://ourmagnolialane.blogspot.com/2012/01/priorities.html"><span style="color: #999999;"><em>priorities</em></span></a> are in life and how they don't look like yours...its all just my tortured voice. The part of me who never feels like I am good enough or doing the right thing...its all because I never saw the value in what God has me going through <em>right now</em>. The value of just taking a moment in my day to stop doing and just<em> be</em>. Just sit with him and be joyful. Just pick the acorns. Because its ok. </div>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-7919578876590152202012-12-16T16:52:00.000-06:002012-12-16T16:55:20.435-06:00"numbered days" <br />
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I have been deeply affected, deeply moved and broken to the very core of my soul for the mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters of those beautiful children who died tragically in the school shooting in CT. And when tragedy hits, I feel like nothing else matters. I put down the to do list, I forget about my dirty floors and the errands I need to run and the bills I need to pay and just none of it matters. I cry, I am angry with satan, I am broken and I am hopeful all in the same sweet breath. I want to go to CT and hold every mother and cry with her. I want to scream when she screams, and then I want sit and hear all the beautiful things about her daughter and I want to look at every single piece of art she made that year and I want to sit in her room and fall asleep holding her blanket, and assure her that I will never forget her.<br />
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Because if it were me, I would want to sit for 10 days right there, in that same spot and not let go of that moment. The moment where she was right there. And it is hard for me as a mother, a child of God, to understand how anything could happen like this. How could a life be taken. One moment you are making waffles and packing a lunch and sending off your little one to learn the alphabet, and the next you are hearing that you will never see her again, on earth. And all I hear is the people around me looking for something, just something to cling onto during this time. <br />
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And then God spoke Psalm 139 to me. <br />
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<em><strong>Your eyes saw my unformed body;<br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-16">all the days ordained<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16256Y" title="See cross-reference Y">Y</a>)"></sup> for me were written in your book</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-16">before one of them came to be.</span></span><br /><span class="text Ps-139-17" id="en-NIV-16257"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>How precious to me are your thoughts,God!<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16257AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)"></sup></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-17">How vast is the sum of them!</span></span><br /><span class="text Ps-139-18" id="en-NIV-16258">Were I to count them,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16258AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></sup></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-18">they would outnumber the grains of sand</span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-18">when I awake,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16258AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)"></sup> I am still with you.</span></span></strong></em><br />
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-18">How precious to know that our days our numbered...</span></span><br />
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-18">He knew us when, he knows us now and every single moment is in his hands. Just this week I had to face my own fears of opening my hands with my children. Just one day before the shooting I told a friend of mine that I needed to let go of them, release my tight grip. Because holding on so tight somehow translates to a false sense of security to me. And what a burden it is to carry that I am the one in charge of their well being. </span></span><br />
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-18">I was inspired to make some art this week. I saw it in my head and just wanted it to be a daily reminder for whoever makes this piece a part of their home, that their days are numbered. God knows and<em> is in control</em>. There is peace and freedom knowing that each of our lives are special to him and his hand is all over it. There is nothing that surprises him, he is the creator. If anything, the fragility of life has now taught me that every second matters. Every second here is a gift. </span></span><br />
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-18">And each moment should be spent in gratitude and love. </span></span><br />
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****** this is a great song to just sit and take a moment to let him in and let him love you. I have definitly played this song over and over again this week. Oh how he loves us...</div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-74638840761118519442012-12-06T13:30:00.000-06:002012-12-06T13:30:48.036-06:00well, I did it again...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I asked you all to not let me do it, but I did. I just cant have long hair. I don't know what it is but I just don't feel like me. Like it fits me. And for those of you who have ever tried to do something and it just didn't seem to fit, you know what I mean. First of all, I am not ultra girly in a real outward way. I am on the inside. I am very sensitive and my heart is basically mush. I cry every single day and I am very passionate from here to the moon. But on the outside, it really just is about functionality. Truth be told, I don't ever wear makeup. And I have a steady uniform of white tshirts and black yoga pants and that's ok with me. I am ok with me. I like to workout and I like to work and constantly putting my hair up was getting quite annoying. I tend to always choose the simplest way to do things, and my life is so busy I don't have an hour to devote to putting myself together in the morning. (For all you wavy, frizzy, thin haired girls you know what I mean....</div>
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But the flip side...my husband loves long hair. And I try to explain to him that I don't have thick luscious Kim Kardashian hair that just lays their and looks fabulous. Nope, not me. So as soon as I can wake up to a stylist everyday, this is it. And he was just so sick of me talking about doing it that he just told me to do it already. So here it is. </div>
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I am ok with me.</div>
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-38211921356724341042012-12-03T15:07:00.000-06:002012-12-03T15:07:37.656-06:00sidewalk chalk art<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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every once in a while I need to remind myself to just let go and have fun.</div>
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I am so overwhelmed with the fact that my 4 year old has a matter of months </div>
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at home with me until she will enter school full time. </div>
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I just am not ready to let her go, and I don't think my</div>
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job is done yet here. I don't want to regret this time that is such a </div>
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gift to me. Some days this responsibility is just so heavy on my heart in </div>
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such a good way...</div>
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I am anxious for the new season in our life, but right now I </div>
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will do the best I can to enjoy and live in<em> this</em> moment.</div>
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I think the best way for us as parents to give our kids the gift of joy is to be joyful ourselves...</div>
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so I think its a good idea to do things I enjoy too.</div>
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Today we made some street art.</div>
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And we are full of chalk and memories...</div>
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I love watching and stirring creative minds.</div>
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I had fun today, Grace.</div>
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And Lucy, thanks for drawing all over my art. ;)</div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-51971811498122831712012-12-01T09:41:00.001-06:002012-12-01T09:47:50.199-06:00angels wings...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am a very broken girl. I have carried alot of stabbing pain, sharp shooting pain in my heart and soul for so many years. I have lived under a cloud of shame and discontent. I have been puzzled by confusion and crippled by fear. Fear that everything good would be taken from me and that I deserved none of it. I have felt the overwhelming pain that comes along with feeling so alone in this world that everything around me was happening and I wasn't even a part of it. I have been dropped so low in a grave of deep depression that I lost about 5 years of my life. I have felt so anxious about so many things that I have cried myself to sleep, wasted away my days, and put anything into my body that might mask the pain of the consequences of that very anxiety. I have felt so far from God that I have told him in the past, I get it, I am destined to suffer. <br />
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But lately I have felt a huge shift. I am finding myself so wrapped up in his love that I cant even stand it. I cry all the time, tears of joy. My heart aches, for those who don't yet know of his love. I am finding a great freedom from the addictions and pain that I have thought were my problems to fix in the first place. There is not a day that goes by when I don't just stop and feel like the weight is being lifted off of me, and taken to a better place. I am finding myself more content in my own life, the same life and skin I have always been in, just seeing it through his perfect eyes. I am seeing all the dots of pain and sorrow and abandonment and discontent and anxiety and fear, connect to make a beautiful painting in my soul. <br />
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He is showing me the beauty for ashes. <br />
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He is showing me his love. <br />
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He is providing for my needs. <br />
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He is filling the empty parts of my soul.<br />
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He is filling the deepest desires of my heart, that finally align up to his. <br />
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So many people ask me all the time, why did you decide to start painting? Was this always a dream you had? There is only one way for me to explain it. No, I have not always had this dream. I never had a dream. I never wanted to be anything. I never thought I deserved to be. But my hope was that someday all the pain I have suffered would turn into <em>something. </em>I didn't know what it would be, I didn't know how it would happen. But he has been working when I didn't see it. He has been arranging this beautiful story since I was being fearfully and wonderfully made...He was planning my escape. My escape that led to him.<em> </em>And he has dug so deep into the desires of my soul and pulled out all the good that he created in me, and is making much of himself. <br />
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You know how people say that they would never go back and change the horrible things in the past if they could, because it made them who they are? I can sit here right now in front of you, and say I wouldn't either. I am so in awe of the power of the Kingdom and how far his love stretches for me, I cant even put it into words. Maybe that's why I started painting...<br />
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If you are ever wondering when this pain is going to be over, or if there is a loving God out there who can love such a broken girl, maybe like yourself, well hes alive and waiting for you. He is ready. Are you ready? Are you ready to strip off all the weight of the world and hand it to the most precious hands of freedom there is? Are you ready to accept his love? Its free to you, Jesus paid your way. Its there. It was always there. And you are never too broken or too lost to be found and captured.<br />
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Some people also ask me why I have started painting angel wings and what they mean to me? I have had no prophetic dreams or visions...I just feel lately like there must have been 77,000 or so angels surrounding me from age 0 - now. I feel so deeply like all the pain I experienced and caused, there is no way I am still here without protection. And then one day, I painted these above. And Jesus showed up right there in the middle of them and I just sat in awe and wonder. I asked my husband, do you see him there???? yes. We both finally see him. In our marriage, in our children, in our home. We see you Jesus. <br />
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A few weeks ago I was in a car accident where we blew out a tire and I lost the steering in my car. We were on a very busy freeway in the afternoon traffic. I had no idea what happened until I finally pulled the car to the shoulder, cars buzzing by at 70 MPH...It didn't hit me until we stopped. It felt like angel wings had attached to my car and lifted us up, bypassing all the possible harm, and set us down safe in his protection. And I never questioned it. Never did I say, I don't deserve that love. I accepted it. I thank him daily for it, even though I know I still don't deserve it. He still loves me. <br />
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<em>He is my beautiful exchange. </em><br />
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<span style="color: #666666;"><em>You were near, Though I was distant<br />Disillusioned I was lost and insecure<br /><br />Still mercy fought, For my attention<br />You were waiting at the door, Then I let You in<br /><br />Trading Your life, For my offenses<br />For my redemption, You carried all the blame<br /><br />Breaking the curse, Of our condition<br />Perfection took our place<br /><br />When only love<br />Could make a way<br />You gave Your life<br />In a beautiful exchange<br />My burden erase, my life forgiven<br />There is nothing, that could take this love away<br /><br />My only desire, and sole ambition<br />Is to love You just the same<br /><br />When only love</em></span><em><span style="color: #666666;">Could make a way<br />You gave Your life<br />In a beautiful exchange<br /><br />When only love<br />Could break these chains<br />You gave Your life <br />In a beautiful exchange<br /><br />Holy are You God<br />Holy is Your name<br />With everything I've got<br />My heart will sing how I love You</span></em>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-35415366436699216642012-11-19T22:07:00.000-06:002012-11-19T22:44:21.136-06:00A new dream...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I woke up 3 nights ago and didn't fall back asleep. Instead, I grabbed my phone and got on facebook. I started reading the updates and came to a post a dear friend had liked. My friend has a daughter who was born with a heart condition. I follow her blog and posts every time she updates them and my heart is just broken. I was led to another families facebook page where I spent the next 3 hours reading every single post and comment since the beginning of the page, and I cried the whole time. I literally felt pain in my own heart and cried tears for a family, a mom and a little girl I didn't even know. I held my own baby the whole night just reflecting on all it means to mourn and love and pray. I reflected on a mothers love and how hard it would be to watch my baby lie in a hospital bed wondering if her next breath would be her last. I pondered what exactly someone could say or do for me if I was in this situation. I would want comfort. I would want to know that while I was in the hospital with my baby and you were at home comfortable, tucked in your beds...with your healthy children, that you thought of me. I would want to feel like life wasnt happening all around me while I suffered. I would need God. <br />
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It happens all the time. I cant shake it. My heart is so full and empty at the same time. If you are in my life, I have cried for you too. I think about you. I pray for you. But most importantly, behind closed doors, I cry for you. I have been aching with this beautiful pain for my whole life and never knew what to do with it. I never thought it meant anything. I just thought I was sensitive. Turns out, God has a plan for this broken girl. There just has to be a reason that I have had so much pain. Pain in my own heart and physical disease myself. And what a beautiful thing to have your life so out of control you have nowhere else to turn but to our only comfort. Our only hope. The only one<em> in</em> control.Turns out, through my own pain and suffering, I have met my savior in these trials and wouldnt ask for a do over if I could. Turns out, he really does exchange beauty for ashes...<br />
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So the whole night I was just thinking, what in the world can I <em>do</em>? I cant change things. I cant call people I don't know. I can pray. <br />
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<em>And I can make art.</em> <br />
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The next day, I painted this. It is a painting I made for a mom and a little girl named Kylie. You can read about her story <a href="https://www.facebook.com/KyliesLubADub"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><em>here</em>.</span></a> She is a beautiful little girl, Gods finest, the same age as my Grace. And she is waiting it out in the hospital, for a new heart. And reading through her moms facebook posts, I just wanted to get in my car and drive there and hold her and pray for her and...I don't know. This energy must get directed somewhere, for some good. <br />
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So I decided that I cant paint a painting for every single soul my heart hurts for but I can make prints! So we are ordering a fancy shmancy new high tech printer to make prints of my original paintings. The details are swirling around in my head and I need to have a God brain. I need to open up myself to these crazy ideas that I have and let God just move. Its his plan anyways right? <br />
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<em>My plan is to start making paintings for these heart families and our fallen soldiers and anyone else in the world who just needs something hopeful to look at, and turn them into prints, adding personalized scripture on them digitally. Maybe something that can be hung in the hospital. And it doesn't stop here. I will paint for everyone. I will paint to raise money, I will paint when I am mourning and I will paint when I am joyful. I will just, paint. </em><br />
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I felt it when I was painting the <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/104813166/the-combat-corpsman-collection"><em><span style="color: #cccccc;">Combat Corpsman Collection</span></em></a>.I just wanted every mom and every wife and every single child who has lost a dad or a husband or a son in action, to have some art. I wanted to honor them. I cried the entire time I made it and thought about all the men and women we have lost. Just me, in my kitchen, and some paint. How can God use me?<br />
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I believe I can use what God has revealed in me to share hope and comfort and to hopefully be able to donate a portion to research? Could I ask a favor? Could you pray for me? Could you pray that all these details get worked out? <br />
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I have no money to give and I am done with the guilt in that. I now see how God has allowed us to get by on what we have been so that I would be forced to do this. I never would have started painting if we didn't have the need for extra income. I didn't even know I could paint. I didn't even know...<br />
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So Kylie, I made this painting for you. It has one of my favorite verses on it that started my scripture paintings...Psalm 91. I want to thank you over there in that hospital room for letting me have the privilege of looking into your hearts. Letting me feel pain with you. I feel closer to my own destiny now than ever before because of you, sweet Kylie. And I am praying for you and your whole family, for peace and comfort in this time. <br />
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Just remember, God is good. And he is right there with you, even when you don't think he is. He loves you and has a great plan for your life. <br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-37916102446628767212012-11-06T11:59:00.000-06:002012-11-06T12:05:30.739-06:00Melissa Lyons Art wants to support the Red Cross<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">the details</span></div>
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Each flag costs $40 dollars + $10 to ship. <br />
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I will donate my time and supplies as well however I will withhold tax and shop fees so your total donation will be $30!!! <br />
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The flags that are eligible are marked in my shop as "Proceeds go to Red Cross" in the title of the listing. They are made on 11 x 14 canvas, some gallery wrapped with a thicker edge and some have the staples on the back and a smaller profile edge, this would make them look great framed. But there is no need to frame any of them, they are all painted on the sides. Each will also come with a saw tooth hanger on top, ready to hang up! <br />
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They are each made with vintage looking paper and a mixture of acrylic paint and love...<br />
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They look great on the wall, in a gallery setting with other art or on a shelf just by itself...<br />
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I sometimes sit here and wonder what 10 bucks here and there could do...sometimes I only have 5 to spare...but I do have art to sell, so thats what I will do. And I am convinced that if we all used what God has given us, our talents and our voices and passions, we could make a difference. <br />
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Purchase a flag today and let it be a reminder to YOU that you have something special inside YOU to make a difference. <br />
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God Bless America, and God Bless YOU!Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-49763486911105089342012-11-03T21:12:00.000-05:002012-11-03T21:12:59.916-05:00Wyatt turns 2!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We went to Landa park in New Braunfels to celebrate my favorite little man's 2nd birthday today...Wyatt, we love you so much. I hope you have a great 3rd year of life! Such a fun day of food, park, choo choo's, fishing and just good people. </div>
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I cant get over how handsome this guy is...</div>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-21440361580561377872012-11-01T16:59:00.000-05:002012-11-01T16:59:52.098-05:00Halloween!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We ate lots of candy.</div>
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We played lots of games.</div>
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We did some trunk or treating...</div>
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And we are all in sugar comas today.</div>
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Had a blast with our little Tinker Bell and Cinderella!</div>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-1703531258478326242012-10-30T15:47:00.000-05:002012-10-30T15:47:15.156-05:00My big news! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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I don't even know where to start or what the title of this blog post should be. And to some people, this might be such a small deal but to me...its huge. Some titles to this week could be...</div>
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"God is so good"</div>
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"He loves me, even when I fail"</div>
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"He provides"</div>
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"He works all things for my good"</div>
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"His timing is perfect"</div>
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"How great thou art"</div>
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"I am in awe..."</div>
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The list could go on...but a few days ago I got an email. It came from the <a href="http://www.sundancecatalog.com/?code=GGLPDSC"><em>Sundance</em></a> Catalog. They asked me if I could make them a <a href="https://www.etsy.com/transaction/92209351"><em>Texas Flag</em></a> like I sold back in August for an upcoming photo shoot in Round Top Texas.</div>
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A photo shoot!<em> My</em> flag! </div>
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So I scrambled and made him one in a day...I absolutely loved the challenge. </div>
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The catalog is set to come out in the spring...I assume because of the Sundance Film Festival...Robert Redford bought the land in 1989 which is known now as Sundance Village. And back then, there was a tiny store and over the years the requests started coming in for the stores unique offerings. You can read more about their story <a href="http://www.sundancecatalog.com/category/customer+service/about+us.do"><em>here</em>.</a> Now there is a catalog. </div>
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So any who, what a cool thing to be a part of. And really this isn't about me having a piece of art maybe show up in a blurry catalog background highlighting some gorgeous jacket...its about the doors God opens and opportunities he gives. I have no idea what made this guy come to my shop other than the fact that I know that Gods hand is moving in my life, over my art and in my home. I have no idea where any of these roads will lead me but I am just so grateful for it all. </div>
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If you need to find me...I am the girl walking around with my jaw still on the floor. </div>
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<span id="goog_705412546"></span><span id="goog_705412547"></span><br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-16986458637911120602012-10-26T15:25:00.000-05:002012-10-26T15:47:48.330-05:00the farm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We went to the farm.</div>
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I had the flu, it was hot...</div>
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and it was worth it.</div>
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I will never forget that giggle Lucy had when she</div>
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felt the cold lick of the goat on her tiny hand...</div>
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And I will never forget the joy in Grace's heart</div>
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when she got to ride the pony.</div>
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And I will never forget the cry Lucy let out when </div>
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she had to get off her <em>first </em>pony ride...</div>
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Lucy ate a goat pellet and I panicked and grabbed it </div>
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out of her mouth with the hand that the goat just ate from...</div>
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I will never forget the embarrassed look on my husbands face</div>
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while I was trying to explain this to the farm lady.</div>
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Just stop he said.</div>
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I cant, I am a mom.</div>
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So we are on day number 2 and no signs of ecoli yet...</div>
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grandma said to worry if she grew a goatee. </div>
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ha.</div>
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We will carve 4 pumpkins and </div>
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roast the seeds...</div>
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and I will remember all the joy our girls had.</div>
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And the tiny baby goat...</div>
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oh Lord </div>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-64805644536810761622012-10-09T12:57:00.000-05:002012-10-09T15:36:56.069-05:00my heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you follow my story here on this earth you know that my heart is always very heavily burdened. I have shared stories of my own personal guilt from abundance. I have shared stories about me seeing a homeless man on the side of the road and driving all the way home to make him a bag full of vitamins, food, clothes and a bible. I have shared stories of when I cry over my full grocery basket in the middle of the parking lot...I have shared stories of wanting to be a world changer and not ever feeling that anything I do makes a dent. And I have shared stories of crying out to God to rip the blanket of security off of me when it comes to giving...to be confident that I will always be provided for, if I see a need and chose to give. I have been praying to be freed from the security of money so that I can have a pure heart to give, and not worry. To give the way I want to and not second guess it. <br />
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But the fact is, this burden I carry is too heavy for me and I cant carry it anymore. And it was never my burden in the first place.There should be no guilt in my abundance. I no longer see how I can be of use to him when I myself am always questioning why I have so much and feel so abundant, while others suffer. I<em> am</em> blessed and that is not a bad thing or something that should make me feel guilty. And is it crazy that my idea of abundance is this? My simple life, our small budget, my second hand clothes...all of it. Its all abundance. Its a time of less guilt and more action for me. What could he do <em>through</em> me? What does he <em>want</em> to do? What<em> is</em> possible?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one
who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke twelve fortyeight</em></span><br />
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I stood in the middle of the grocery store this morning with a woman from our church, a friend of mine, and poured out my heart. I just laid it all out there. I don't know which path to follow, its not very clear at the moment. I don't know which way to go. But there is only one thing for sure, I do not want to go down a path that was not meant for me. I want to stand before the almighty one day and have him say, <em>thank you daughter, you did what I imagined...and you did it well. And when you couldn't anymore, I lifted you up and gave you much grace. And it was always there for you to take, but it took you many years to learn that I never created you to be perfect. I created you to need me. And the day you figured that out, your life began.</em><br />
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I don't know why my heart is so burdened for the suffering in this world. Maybe its because i have suffered much. And right now, I don't exactly know what to do with that. But I am getting closer. I sit here in tears thinking about all the babies who need to be held. I am thinking about all the mothers who are so malnourished, they cant walk the countless miles to get clean water for their children. I think about all the families who are so burdened by disease and poverty that the vision for their family by our creator is clouded by shame and helplessness. I am saddened by all the people who don't know Christ. I am just overwhelmingly sad. <br />
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But I also know of the mighty power that is available in the name of Jesus Christ. And I have felt his hope and restoration, first hand. I used to be afraid to talk about God because I never knew what to say but now I am finding myself asking strangers if they know him, and praying for them. I don't know what God wants to do with this life of mine, but I am sure its being revealed.<br />
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I originally started to paint for two reasons. Provide for my own family and provide for other families. My whole purpose was centered around donating a portion of my work to those in need. But I quickly felt satan whispering into my ear...well now you look like your trying to sell art by telling people you are giving to the needy. And he kept telling me that it would look like a ploy to get people interested. But I'm done with him and his lies. <br />
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I don't know exactly what this means for melissa lyons art. I don't know where God is leading me right now at the moment, but I know its good. I feel its big. So big. There has to be a reason for this overwhelming passion in my heart. There has to be a reason that I feel more energy and inspiration when I paint. There has to be a reason for all my years as a nutrition counselor. There has to be a reason I on my own time, have spent many years researching micro and macro nutrients...healing herbs and healing foods. And there has to be a reason that satan has been attacking me so greatly in this area for so many years. My own struggle with food addiction and guilt...and also my own journey with food allergies and health. <br />
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There just has to be a reason.<br />
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I am not going to buy into the small thinking that I am just one person and I cant do much. Because I am equipped with Gods power and grace to move on his behalf, because of who he made me to be. I am not weak because I cry for you, I have his heart. I am not foolish because I want big things for my art, because maybe, just maybe, I <em>could</em> make a difference. <br />
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So I am moving forward with his plans for me. I am going to tune in to his desires for my life better and not cloud my thoughts with what I think is safe and comfortable. What I think is the right thing to do on paper. I want him to have his way. The fact is I am torn between two different paths right now and my heart has always been on one. I just want to make sure its the one he wants to lead me down. <br />
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I am asking for big prayer during this time for me. Not for anything except the ability to discern his will. The ability to tune in and let him lead. Its the details that throw me off. I get so overwhelmed with the how tos and how much and the whos and wheres that I lose the passion because it all seems too big. But he is just really speaking to me today...<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>"my grace is sufficient for you melissa, my power is made perfect in your weakness"</em></span><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em><br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-9398218610232600152012-09-30T21:07:00.000-05:002012-09-30T21:07:28.905-05:00the day i became a mom, she was 4 years old.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have been wanting to write about this for a while now but didn't know what kind of context it fit into. Is it a follow up post on our second trip to the dentist?Or is it a testimony. Or is it God just simply showing me that when I chose to do the right thing, he finishes whatever i cant and picks me up when I fall. Its about me choosing to trust him, even when I am a afraid.<br />
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Yeah, I think its a post about that. <br />
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You might want to read <a href="http://ourmagnolialane.blogspot.com/2012/05/spirit-of-fear.html"><span style="color: #45818e;"><em>the post about the spirit of fear</em></span>.</a> Pretty much my Grace is terrified of the dentist. Well doctors too. And the last dentist visit we barely made it into the chair. No xrays or cleaning, we did nothing but cry, scream and spend an hour in fear. They told me she had one small cavity so I could either take her to the hospital and have her intibated and put under...taken care of and I would walk away with peace of mind or...we could leave it, try again in 6 months. <br />
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I chose to come back.<br />
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The very moment we got home God was working. We spent the next few months getting so many boo boos and having the weirdest accidents. But every single time was a moment where I could speak courage and Jesus into her heart. Each and every time we got an opportunity to be brave. And slowly her confidence built up. And then she had to get her 4 year old check up. She got shots and got her blood pressure taken and was so brave I actually had tears running down my face. I prayed with her that day the Jesus would be right there with her and she would be brave, that she would do things even when they scared her because he will never leave her. I remember leaving that place and just stopping outside to just hold her and tell her how proud I was of her. <br />
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As we were walking to the car still in tears, both of us, she said she was ready to go to the dentist. <br />
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So i booked the appointment even thought it wasn't time and explained to the women that this might be just a time where we get to the chair and that's it...but that I would pay them for their time. I said we might get nothing done, but we needed to come in because she said she was ready.<br />
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I will never forget the morning we went. I will never forget my husband playing dentist with her to prepare her. Tipping her back in our kitchen chair and using the pink gloves to tickle her teeth...and introduce her to "mr. thirsty" the straw suction tube...<br />
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I prayed with her and reminded her that even though she still might be scared, that Jesus would be there. And I reminded her of how proud I was that she was making a choice to try again. We got there and we got everything done except filling the tooth. We sat in the chair, we put on the nose, we got nitrous in her and she never really reacted to it. She let them take an xray even though there was so much crying and fear, she still did it. And she even got her fluoride treatment. To me, it was like she had just climbed mt Everest. I couldn't believe my baby. And she was so proud. She left with a confidence and pride that I have never seen in her. To this day, she still asks me, "mommy are you proud of me at the dentist???' <br />
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Baby, I am so proud of you...not because you did it, but because you did it even though you were scared.<br />
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I became a mom that day. I didn't take the easy way out. I chose to use this horrible fear that plagues her, to show her who she is in Christ. I will admit that I was scared and nervous for the outcome. I prayed through it and just decided that he would finish what I started. And each time we go she will get stronger and stronger until she realizes on her own that she can do hard things. And her life will be full of hard, hard things. I cant always be with her. I cant hold her hand all the time. She will leave this house one day, she will leave my sight. And its not my job to shelter her, that's his. Its not my job to make everything easy for her. Its not my job to take all her pain away, that's also his. If I do anything as a mother, I would hope to point her to her savior, who will do all those things. I don't care what it takes, if we have to go every six months...we can do this. <br />
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I say I became a mom that day for so many reasons but mainly for one. I tend to be the kind of mom who tries to make everything easy. I do as much as I can for my family to spare them pain or suffering. I guess I have had so much of both, I just don't want to see them suffer too. But I realized thought this that no matter what I do or say, the world is still the world and they will never be free from pain. Grace might be in a car accident one day where she will need to be brave and let doctors touch her, or maybe she breaks her arm at the playground and we need to get xrays...mandatory. I don't know what the future holds for her but I am sure of only one thing.<br />
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Its not always my job to protect her, but to<em> prepare</em> her. <br />
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They praised me that day, those amazing women in that office. They said, way to go mom, your doing the right thing. I don't take compliments well but that day I did. I cried tears of joy and release. I cried that i was able to do something hard. I cried because God gave me courage just like he did for Grace. <br />
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I have no photos from that day. I thought about that when i got home. There was no documenting exactly what when on, but I will always hold that day in my heart, and I know Grace will too. <br />
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And she still asks me to this day..."mommy are you still proud of me at the dentist..." <br />
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yes baby, I am. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-65694129637341635212012-09-28T12:15:00.001-05:002012-09-28T12:15:35.790-05:00an open house, for gracie<div style="text-align: left;">
Grace, last night was your open house at school. There are so many things that just make my heart melt when I see you doing your thing there. This is the first place I let you go. The first place where I let you fly. It took me almost 4 years but I'm so glad I did it. You love it. If you and I have struggled to connect over the years, I am now understanding why. You are just a social butterfly. And while I am too...I don't always have to be around people like you do. In fact, that's one of the big reasons I love staying home with you and Lucy and being a work at home mama, because its our space. But you my love, need to be out in the world and encouraging others, feeding off of others and just playing. I want to make sure you and I always remember these days, these first days of freedom for you. There are some details you will be glad to remember when you are a mama yourself...</div>
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Daddy and Lucy stayed home, we are all not feeling well. It was just you and me. I was so honored to be asked to donate a piece of art and so proud of us seeing my art hanging up there...our new business cards fresh on the counter and a very grateful heart pumping in me. I always want you to remember...</div>
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you never eat your lunch.</div>
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you love the playground the most. </div>
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this is the place you learned to pray.</div>
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your letters and numbers looked great kiddo ;)</div>
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your feelings get hurt very easy.</div>
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you never want to come home.</div>
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every single time i pick you up its a battle to try to get you to forget the big bucket of lolli pops in Mrs. Loneanne's office.</div>
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i wish we had a little potty, like your class has.</div>
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when you first started there last year you used to cry when i picked you up because you never wanted to come home, but now that you know you will go back, you greet me with the biggest smile and greatest hugs.</div>
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every other day your best friend changes.</div>
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you love to sing at chapel, even though i don't think its your thang, singing. and that teaches <em>me </em>alot.</div>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-44351625055521830182012-09-27T13:10:00.000-05:002012-09-27T13:10:49.014-05:00breaking out of the proverbial boxI suppose if you are of the creative type, you might have felt constrained by the box... you know the box. The one you are supposed to fit in. Your niche. You can spot a Van Gogh any day of the week by his brush strokes and his muted yet bold colors. You definitely know a Picasso by the strong lines and modern feel...but who am I? <br />
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Who are you? <br />
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I guess ever since I started painting in February, I have been waiting for my niche to present itself. I have been waiting to gain a certain type of audience...and dress my shop with a certain look. Well somewhere along the line I have found a freedom to be creative and break through that box. Some days I am full of energy and inspired by my beautiful, cheerful babes who inspire me to adorn canvas with childlike playful images, that remind me of them. And some days, my heart is so heavy for this country we live in that all I can do is paint flags, in honor of our founding fathers and our founding principals and values. And some days I miss Chicago so much that I cant stop painting Wrigley Field or things that remind me of home. And some days I cant stop thinking about sitting with my grandpa riffling through my baseball cards and I just want to create something to honor the way things were, by painting a vintage sports sign. The thrill of iced lemonade and hot dogs while learning to keep score at a Cubs game, makes me paint. <br />
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So there are many pieces of canvas that sit in my room, I stare at them. They all have a story, but most of them don't make it in. I don't know why...maybe its fear of rejection. Maybe its fear of them sitting in my shop for months with no hits. Or that feeling of having to renew an item time after time because it has expired. <br />
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But yesterday I created this one. <br />
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And you wouldn't understand what it is...in fact I don't even really. But I am missing my grandma dearly and this was inspired by her condo in Chicago. All the time I spent there, following and in awe of my grandmas eclectic style. Monet and Ken Done all over the place, all over here. Her bold blue Scandinavian rings and pendants and all the prints...everything about this painting feels, smells, and breathes my grandma Mary Sordel. I miss her so much that all I can do to ease the pain is paint. Someday when she is not here anymore, I will always have the memory of her that I have created, and treasure.<br />
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The box that the world creates for us to fit in is not where we are meant to stay. And I have struggled with listening to the voice of God when he says, really...its ok. I delight in you and your creations! Go ahead ;) So while you may not understand who I am or what I do, he does...and now I do. I am most certainly just a girl with a passion to make something from nothing. I am not afraid of the blank stare of a new canvas...I am not afraid of the execution of an idea that I have never seen before. I am not afraid to break through the box and just be me. <br />
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So that one piece of art that sits in my shop for months, or stares back at me here at home, trying to speak fear and rejection to me...maybe its for you. Maybe you are the only other person in the world that sees its beauty or its meaning. Just maybe you might see it and say, that was <em>made</em> for me.<br />
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I guess my style from the beginning has always been distressed and vintage. I cant seem to be able to leave bold colors as they are, or strokes perfect and visible. I have a deep sense of creating worn and weatherd, lived in pieces that look like they have survived the ages. Because thats me. I feel worn and torn and brand new...all in the same. All the scratches and rough spots symbolize, me. <br />
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I am enjoying my new freedom. <br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-76764271656069442732012-09-24T12:11:00.002-05:002012-09-24T18:47:31.540-05:00Im ready to lose the weight...of food addiction<br />
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Im gonna be real again...because its my story, <em>for his glory</em>.<br />
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Yesterday, I was talking back and forth with a friend of mine at church and we were discussing the outcome of her Daniel fast. She lost 12 pounds and I was so excited for her. We got to talking about our future plans with weight loss and she had asked me to start the ever so popular app "my fitness pal" with her. <br />
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I laughed.<br />
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I actually have used that app before...and it worked, for about a few days. But then I started eating a few extra hundred calories here and there and NOT recording them. Then I would feel trapped in my usual cycle of guilt and shame and not record days on end...and then I would find myself at the gas station hording all sorts candy and ice cream, eating them in the front seat of my car will taking extra long to get home, to not feel so ashamed. Then I would feel sick because I am allergic to all of it...my day would be ruined because of what an horrible sinner I am and then I would enter into the "Ill start again on Monday " routine. <br />
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This sort of cycle happens every few weeks or so...sometimes daily. <br />
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Diets don't work for food addicts. In fact anytime you are addicted to something, restricting plans don't work. And its not just a problem for people who are "overweight". I see this all too often with women who live in the cycle of addiction to eliminating food groups or being on diets that are so restrictive that they are ashamed when they fall off the wagon too. Being too into your physicality or appearance is also just as torture some. I know too many women who obsess over what they eat and how much all day everyday and forget that this life is from him and it is to be lived. Not trapped in a cycle of guilt and shame by food which is supposed to nourish and bring health and vitality to our broken bodies. It is not supposed to be this way. <br />
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I don't have a problem with eating healthy. In fact if you peeked into my fridge, you would not know that it belongs to me. It is full of fresh vegetables and fruits, lean proteins and healthy fats. And believe it or not I spent the greater part of the last 15 years of my life working for Jenny Craig as a weight loss consultant, as a personal trainer and as a certified nutrition and wellness counselor. <br />
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I have come to a place in my story where I feel 100% ready to just share this part of me because I know there must be hundreds of thousands of women out there who are like me. And I bet most of them are ashamed to admit they hide food, eat in their car, eat in the middle of the night, binge eat, or just don't eat at all for days...I have actually never done that, and have actually thought to myself once or twice, I wish I had a problem with not eating. But then I would be writing to you here about a whole other problem and feeling empty in a whole other way...<br />
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I use the term addict to describe my relationship with food because that's what it feels like to me. An unhealthy dependence of something. I feel like an addict.And that's just it, its something. It doesn't matter what it is. In fact, I was a smoker for 10 years. And i drank alot of alcohol. And I have also done my fair share of illegal substances...but I haven't had a cigarette in 5 years...I can count the number of drinks I have had on one hand during that time period and haven't done any drugs since my late teenager years. But I could compare my affection to food as "the first drag of a cigarette" or "having a buzz" or flirting with a member of the opposite sex to get a moment of validation, that you still matter. Or maybe its the purchase of a brand new outfit or a designer handbag....or maybe its the thrill of having a successful moment in your life and basking in the glory. We just don't talk about food addiction so much because its not sexy or glamorous. Its not as cool as being a smoker or having too much stuff. Its gross, people think you are disgusting...but in reality its all the same sin.<br />
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It started for me when I was a child. That was the way I numbed the pain. And this is not a post about my childhood or how painful it was or what drove me to this...but I recognize this as being when it started. I would hear the back door close and the first thing I would do is run for the ice cream. Some days I would hide food in our basement and eat out of pure exhaustion, emotionally and physically. And that's what it is for me...comfort. I actually don't enjoy food. I don't like to cook, and i don't watch the food network. <br />
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I remember the day my father so gently and wonderfully asked if I would like to go on the Jenny Craig program. I was 15 I think...I did. And that's how I started working there. I developed a passion for eating healthy and I found myself wanting, <em>needing</em> to encourage other women. I stayed in the 150 - 160 range for many years. I spent many years researching health and fitness and loved it. And then I got sick. For many years in my early 20s I was plagued with headaches and pain and nobody could ever make it better. I saw at most, 17 doctors at one time and none of them could help. You can read my story about that<span style="color: #45818e;"><em> </em></span><a href="http://ourmagnolialane.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-battle-with-food-allergies.html"><span style="color: #45818e;"><em>here</em></span></a>. Stuck in a whirlwind of depression and physical pain, I decided to start researching naturopathic medicine. I became obsessed with food as a healer and started using alot of supplements and herbs. None of which helped me out of my pain.<br />
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Finally when i was pregnant with our second baby, i had enough of feeling sick and felt God telling me to get allergy tests done. Turns out after months of my own elimination diets and restricting, I am allergic to pretty much everything. Wheat, corn, soy, dairy, eggs, peanuts and the list goes on...My body produces massive inflammation and swelling and I get very bad episodes of vertigo. I am just a sick person and the reason was food. <br />
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I sit here today, at 185 pounds. My heaviest was 232. I have lost this much due to eliminating the food groups I am allergic to and just being me. I really am a healthy person. I love to be active and workout...I know how to do it. I love to eat healthy, I know how to that. But so far, I have not been able to lose the rest of the weight not because I don't know how, but because I am trapped. Its much deeper than writing a food log, or counting calories...I am terribly broken. Food is the first place I run in times of pain or suffering, or exhaustion or just plain joy. I am tired, I eat. I am happy, I eat. <br />
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Lately I have just been crying out to God for the release of this in my life. Release of the hold that food has on me. The ability to say no. I get angry because my life is already so restrictive with food as it is. And even though I love being a mono eater, I feel cheated. Like I'm missing out on life somehow because I don't get to eat cookies or cake or ice cream without feeling sick. And then I do, and I get sick. <br />
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But then comes the element of shame. I am ashamed by the fact that I think I am entitled to such pleasures...or that I even consider eating as a pleasure. Most people in our world consider eating as a luxury. And I am disgusted with my own self. No diet plan will ever be able to release the hold that satan has over me. No diet plan can ever work well enough to not make me stand in front of my pantry and choose my poison. No diet plan will ever give me enough strength to say no. <br />
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<strong>I am tired of saying no...I want to start saying yes, <em>to him</em>.</strong><br />
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To God. To Jesus. To the one who says <br />
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<strong></strong><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Mark 8:34-35 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples
and said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his
cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but
whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it."</em></span><br />
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and this...<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em></em></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><em>Gal 5:24 You cannot belong to Christ Jesus unless you crucify all
self-indulgent passions and desires.</em></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Gal 5:24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have put to death their
human nature, with all its passions and desires</em></span><span style="font-size: large;"><em>.
</em></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><em>1 Pet 2:24a And he personally bore our sins in his own body on the
cross, so that we might be dead to sin and be alive to all that is
good.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em> 2nd Corinthians 5:17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.</em></span><br />
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Now I realize that one of my many excuses is that its not that bad. It could be worse. I'm doing a good job. Its not really a sin. I'm doing the best I can. I deserve a little happiness. I should be proud of myself....but again, its not about food. Its about the something that has a hold over me that separates me from all God has for me. What he wants for me. Its something of this earth that holds such a tight grip on me that it is on my mind all day everyday. What to eat, what not to eat, how to avoid it, how to get through Halloween, how to not eat the entire leftover birthday cake <em>again </em>this year. <br />
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I believe the rest of my journey through this weight loss is not going to be one of counting calories or logging food. Its not going to be anything but laying down the parts of me that are so broken, and letting the only one who can fix me, do his job. I know that he does not want this for me, is deeply saddened by it and wants to restore me. I know he wants to help me to lay it down. And I know that I will be prayerfully confronting many deep seeded issues in my life that have brought me to this place. I know that by asking God to help me, he will be showing me why I am the way I am and how to look more like him. I am ready for that.I want nothing to do with this cycle of guilt and shame anymore. I want nothing to do with satan and his lies and schemes to destroy my life. <br />
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What I will not be doing is trying to lose weight for the sake of looking good or fitting into a certain size. I am far enough in my walk with God that I know for sure I don't hold my value in what I look like or what size my pants say. What I do want is to be closer to him, to find peace in him, and to be able to say no to the things that are designed to separate me from him. <br />
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I will be reading<em><span style="color: #45818e;"> </span></em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Made-Crave-Satisfying-Deepest-Desire/dp/031029326X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348498722&sr=8-1&keywords=made+to+crave#_"><em><span style="color: #45818e;">this book</span></em></a>. This is not a book on diets or how to lose weight. We all know how to do that. What it is, is a real woman confronting all the issues that we face and pointing it back to God. The very place it should start. Please go and read the "first pages" on amazon. And if you would like to join in on a discussion, let me know! <br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848148795364545128.post-57477600829345239072012-09-17T21:25:00.002-05:002012-09-17T21:25:56.521-05:00my sweet angel she knows how to pray<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I knew yesterday was going to be different...</div>
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The clouds were dark and the air was heavy, and something was different. It was a dark rainy day, I had a smile on my face but I didn't know why. I awoke with expectation...Pastor asked if anyone had woken up and wanted to pull the covers over their faces and be lulled back to sleep, he did. </div>
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But i didn't. </div>
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The drop offs were quick and we sat in our spot. We sang and we worshiped, each in our own ways...I sang wherever you lead me, I will follow you...with every breath I take, I will worship you. I wanted to spend the entire service on the floor, arms stretched out, not able to get any lower. So low that I could feel the cold floor and feel the gentle vibrations of the voices of worship around me. I wanted to cry tears of release and joy and expectation. I wanted him to know that I see him, I hear him and I know he is working...</div>
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There was a call and one soul was saved. I felt you squeeze my hand and I knew you prayed that again. We all did. I knew that it was the day for you. There have been many days like that for me, I cant even count. But I could see the angels and I could feel their rejoicing.<br />
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This was the day when she learned to pray. <br />
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First it was at the kitchen table, so proud of herself...daddy, i know how to pray! <br />
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I will always remember that day.<br />
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I turned out the lights and gave her a kiss and told her to have sweet dreams. You need your sleep so that you can be ready for school my love...I walked out the door and heard such a sweet little voice. I stopped to hear what you had to say, Dear Jesus, thank you for this day...thank you for always being my best friend, and taking away all my boo boos. Amen. <br />
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I turned back around with tears in my eyes and my heart so full if it was to be my last day on earth, I would know you would be ok, and she would be ok.<br />
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My sweet angel, she knows how to pray. <br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13616862297272550495noreply@blogger.com0